


Patheticisms

by queenofthelot



Category: American Idiot - All Media Types
Genre: Drugs, F/M, M/M, Profanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 04:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6142259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofthelot/pseuds/queenofthelot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small look into the mind of the Patron Saint of Denial (of Feelings).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Patheticisms

Jimmy looked down at him. At the Jesus of Suburbia. At Johnny. A sigh slowly escaped Jimmy's lips as he let his thoughts roam to places where the two of them could be alone together; He wanted to tell Johnny about his feelings so badly. He had him hooked on the heroin, on the cocaine, Jimmy had him. But could he truly have him? "No," Jimmy thought, as he watched Johnny unzip the girl's dress. "No of course not…"

And even if he had the opportunity to tell Johnny how he felt, could he? Jimmy couldn't even describe his feelings to himself, let alone another person. All he could think was that he wanted Johnny… badly. Jimmy could get any girl in his arms, in his bed, any that were interested in him… or the drugs he could supply. 

They were disgusting, his followers, his minions. Groveling on the ground in ecstasy, carefree. Jimmy pitied them, for he had not turned them into the demons they had become. But Johnny, although Jimmy had hooked him on the drugs and had taken great pride in the monster he had created, Johnny still had a purity about him. A lingering hope that the drugs couldn't shake. Even after the partying and drinking, Jimmy watched in amazement as Johnny always left with the same girl… Whatsername. 

Johnny had something no one else in Jimmy's life had, a will to live, a will to love. Johnny somehow still had dignity about him. Somewhere deep inside him, Jimmy envied this. He had been robbed of his will to live and love a long time ago. Another part of him believed that he could wedge himself into the equation. He could become showered with the love Johnny had. But Johnny was taken…  
Jimmy looked down again… and saw that Johnny was showing the girl how to shoot heroin.  
Jimmy had taught him how. Upon seeing this, Jimmy became furious. Why the fuck was Johnny sharing their special thing with another person? Drugs were Jimmy. Not Johnny. Not Whatsername. Jimmy. Jimmy's heart was already broken into a thousand pieces, but nor it was burning with a fiery rage, one that could only be put out with Johnny's love. 

"He'll be back," Jimmy whispered as he watched the couple depart the alleyway and head home. "They always come back!" He cackled loudly into the night air.  
But oh how right he was…


End file.
